I did not expect this.
I did not plan this.
Yet, perhaps, that is where the beauty lies.

One year ago today, I stopped training for a half-marathon. 
Yet, little did I know, a far more difficult trek lay ahead of me; and, for this, 
I had not been fully trained.
Or, trained at all.

One year ago today, my work as a paid teacher would come to a halt.
I had been teaching at a superlative school ("Pathways"), alongside remarkable coworkers, management, and volunteers, with a group of students whose joy is, certainly, unsurpassed.

One year ago today, my work as a youth & worship volunteer would come to a halt.
I had been volunteering at a supportive and sound church 
("The Kirk of the Hills"), under the encouragement of the Student Ministries Director, Senior High Youth Pastor, and Mid-High Youth Pastor.
I worked and volunteered alongside some of the most talented, creative, outspoken, electric, and inspiring group of young adults I have ever had the privilege of meeting and calling my friends.
Yes, I am pleased to say, even beyond a Facebook friendship.

One year ago today, I left my best friend, my close group of friends, the many amazing acquaintances I had encountered along the way, and the city in which, however unknowingly, had enriched and stolen 5 years of my life.

One year ago today, I made the wide-eyed and audacious decision to leave 
all that I had come to know and all that I had come to love.
I was going to move to another city.
I was going to move to, even, another country.
With, very little finances and only 4 other people;
 who, were just as green as I.

However, I chose to leave.
And, I chose to love.
Strangers chose to leave with me.
And, they chose to love me as well.
In that, my life will forever be changed.

That story, however, is not what I want to pull your attention to today.
For now, anyway.

One year later.
One year after that initial wide-eyed and audacious step,
I reside not in the place I had hoped.
I work not at the job I had hoped.
I think not the thoughts I had hoped.
I speak not the words I had hoped.
I live not the life I had hoped.

This journey, unforeseen.
This treacherous and unilluminated valley, unexpected.
This uncertainty, doubt, and confusion, unparalleled.
Yet, today, as I ran, I found an unanticipated glimmer of hope.
Or, rather, hope found me.

As I was struggling through my last half-mile, He ran alongside.
Out of nowhere, He started running beside me.
Encouraging.
Loving.
Laughing.
Explaining.
He told me to not give up.
To never give up.
He pointed out the places on the road He knew I would struggle and want to stop;
and, that I was to prepare for them.
Slow down.
Breathe.
Let the even and downward portions be of preparation.
Slow down.
Breathe.
Enjoy them.
Take your time.
When the hills come, 
breathe.
When you want to quit,
breathe.
When you think you have nothing left to give,
breathe.
You will have the strength.
I Am here.

Write.
Write while amidst the chaos.
Write your experiences.
Speak your story.
Sing your journey.

Don't stop.
Don't give up.
Keep running.
You will make it.

Ok.
I won't.
I won't give up.
I promise.

:Let The Journey Continue:

I've always been a dreamer. Always. For as long as I can remember.  I constantly daydream. I often have to pull myself back into the present from where my mind has wondered or from what it has created. I tend to always envision what could be; or, what I think should be. My nights are rarely accompanied with undisturbed or uninterrupted sleep. Nights that do seem to be dreamless, I tend to wake with a sense of wonder and confusion. Why didn't I dream? And, why do I not feel rested? 

Throughout my life, one of the very few things that kept me going was the ability to dream. To be able to dream bigger than the current situations. Dream louder than the voices of opposition, however well-meaning, from strangers, friends, and family. To be able to dream longer than the residing and reoccurring difficulties and doubts that were within and without myself.

Eventually, those dreams became arranged and molded by God; which, then turned into ideas. Ideas that, even now, seem to go against the social norms and perceived logical reasoning. Ideas that seem almost perfect in their illustrations within my mind. Ideas that leave me baffled as to why God has placed them within my heart.

I am certainly not one of the most educated of persons. Nor, most articulate. My skills and talents have never really exceeded "mediocre". I have never been one to stand out in a crowd or to be the social butterfly or an extroverted individual. With, all of these, I have grown to love who God has created me to be. I have learned to excel, or at the very least attempt to excel, in areas He has gifted me in. And, those in which He has not. Yet, it is very daunting when one has such huge dreams and years go by without them hardly coming into the light. 

This, is where I am. I feel propelled towards the accomplishing of my dreams; yet, I still have no idea how to go about accomplishing them. Or, even, an idea of how to try to accomplish them. 

Example:
I have always loved music. I love the way music has the capability of moving people. You may have found that artists use their craft to convey their own experienced emotions and lifestyles. Others, speak of desired emotions and lifestyles. Regardless, people are moved. Emotions often result and actions may even follow: crying, dancing, laughing, fighting, serving, hoping, dreaming. 

My dreams have changed and been molded over the passed decade or so; yet, the vastness of them remains the same. One of which is: I have a heart for music. I have a heart for making GREAT music. I have a heart for seeing reality and wisdom and knowledge and healing and community and restoration come through the lyrics and composition of melodies. I do believe that I have a story to tell through the artistry of song writing. I do believe that even healing can come through the expertise of learned instruments. I do believe I am supposed to record an album. (If you just read that and are scoffing; believe me, I'm right there with you.) I do believe that those songs will impact all those who hear them because of their relevancy and offered hope. And, yet, inadequacy reigns supreme in my life; or, so it has always seemed. Even with these dreams, I am less than mediocre in accompanying myself instrumentally. I usually have a lot to say via blogs, letters, and poetry; however, turning those thoughts and emotions into songs seems to elude me. A HUGE hurdle in where I now stand.

This is really only a taste of what is going on in my mind recently; and, not so recently. I cannot seem to figure anything out on my own. Therefore, today's post is an ambiguous cry for help I suppose. Both, from friends and from God. I feel at a standstill in so many aspects of my life. 

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense. I'm not sure whether you even wanted to hear all this or not. However, if nothing else, please keep me in your prayers. I covet them.

Sabaho. A coffee shop and eatery just a 10-minute jaunt from our house. This, is where I currently, however temporarily, reside. Sitting in one place for too long of a period has the tendency to make me very antsy. Such as now. I needed to get out of our house to edit photos and write my blog; however, now I am fighting the urge to bolt prior to finishing. Failure will not win. I hope. Here goes.

The weather has most certainly been brilliant this week! I, honestly, cannot say when the last time was that I've seen a full day of sunshine. It was definitely prior to living here in London. It's remarkable what a little Vitamin-D will do for one's soul.

This passed week we had the opportunity to take a small holiday and visit the English countryside. What a beautiful and peaceful place. The couple that we were invited up to stay with, we had the privilege of meeting during our swim across the pond. Faith and Bill Bowyer turned out to be an incredibly kind and hospitable couple. Having not known us apart from a few short minute conversations aboard the ship, they were very adamant in making sure we came up to see them. Due to our schedules, we couldn't stay the entire 8 days that they requested; however, we were able to be a part of their lives for 4 refreshing days. 

They willingly fed, housed, and showed us around their village of Derby. Having only met Charles, Ryan, and myself, they even willingly took in Jonathan and Vanessa. I long to be as kind and hospitable as them. Well, I must be going. The desire to flee has overcome. 

:Let the journey continue:

Well, it is Sunday morning; and, I am back in our lounge room. On the same couch. Sitting in the same seat. Without any coffee in hand. That needs to change. However, I did want to write to you concerning a much larger change that needs to take place.
On Saturday the 7th of July, Charles, Ryan, Jonathan, Vanessa, and myself attended a training day under the organization "STOP THE TRAFFIK" (Yes, it is purposefully spelled differently). Getting up early enough to take the very long Tube ride to the opposite side of the city was a small challenge in and of itself; nonetheless, I kicked everyone into gear ;) We quickly grabbed breakfast-to-go and headed out for a day of...well, we didn't exactly know for sure at that point. We simply knew there was an organization that had a heart to see trafficking expunged from the world; and, we knew we wanted to be a part of that.

Consequently, we journeyed to a portion of the city where none of us had gone before. Adventure. Luckily, right across from our destination Tube station was the church we needed to find. We walked in, signed-in, were handed some pamphlets and leaflets, grabbed some complimentary tea or coffee and some biscuits, and then found an empty pew on the south side of the sanctuary. 

The day seemed to come and go as quickly as the sunshine tends to here in London. There were people we were introduced to who were in positions of authority within the city of London itself; and, even the mayor of London sent a personal video to "STOP THE TRAFFIK" in thanking them for all that they have done for their city. Once the shock of titles was accomplished, we spent the next two hours learning about the heart of "STOP THE TRAFFIK" and what our roles were to be over the following two months. The informational lectures were certainly exciting; however, they were equally depressingly daunting. 

Well, it has most certainly been a good long while since the last time I've blogged. My apologies. Motivation to script and compose our adventures has evaded me for, roughly, the last month. I was advised that the best way to get back into the "groove of writing," is to simply write about how you don't want to write. Therefore, we will see where this blog takes us.

As I attempt to type, I sit here in our lounge room, on our couch, with a heated computer in my lap. I have homemade coffee in hand with the blanketed pages of my journal screaming at me to share their abundance of emotions and experiences. So much has happened since the 14th of May when I set foot on English soil. Sharing my thoughts has never come easily; however, I do realize I long to share with you the experiences had, relationships made, and the extent of our impact thanks to your prayers and support. My lack of aspiration to make those happenings publicly known has kept my hands silent long enough. You deserve to know. 

You deserve to know:
...the blessings and support we have received from the London Family Centre in Camden Town (Their official link below). Prior to having any of our immediate team members have any sort of personal contact with this community Body, they were finding ways to make our living here a reality. 
 

             Over the passed three weeks or so, our “mission” seems to have, finally, picked up. (Mission, as I am describing here, is the physically active and visibly recognizable sect of living and serving through Christ’s love.) We have had the opportunity to make some great contacts with “CommonWealth Church” (http://www.commonwealthchurch.org/) and with “St. Barnabas” (http://www.stbarnabas.co.uk/). These two churches, though significantly different in their operation, origination, geographic location, and with their surrounding demographics, have both cultivated compassionate understandings for those internally and externally located about their “four walls.” More details concerning our work with these two churches in blogs to follow; hopefully, shortly.

I have recently adopted the mindset and intentions of one of my mates, Charles Fowler, in relation to serving unto those within the Church body and those without: Whatever you choose to do, do so in a way that it may have a lasting impact. Anyone can serve wherever they choose; and, it will be of some benefit. However, do you really want to live in a specific place for a total of six months and have that “service” stall, or stop, or leave when you decide to depart? Let’s make a lasting impact while we are here. Let us encourage the Church here in a way that will spur them on towards accomplishing the work they have already put years of prayer and action into; and, let’s show the people around us the personal, real, and remarkable transformation that we ourselves have undergone by the grace of Christ.

So, that is what I have been striving towards: hoping to entirely comprehend the weight and significance of a “missional lifestyle” and accomplish exactly what it is that I was sent here to do. Let the journey continue.

24 days. In less than a month, “Life” itself has slowly taken on fresh, and yet unfamiliar, perspectives; which, are continually resulting in a reconstructed mindset. No need to fret; it is entirely beneficial. Observations have been very eye-opening.

 Here, in London, cultural norms are one of those unfamiliarities.

For instance, everyone here tends to take “The Tube”; which, I have never been on any sort of subway system in my life. It's been quite an experience. I hear it trumps US subways in cleanliness and safety. So I hear.

Also, when it is overcast or precipitating (which is often), you will find absolutely no one in the parks; however, when the sun is out, everyone and their grandmum are out to play. The footballers are running back-and-forth, the runners/walkers are exercising to their iPods, the blankets and their suntanners are sprawled across the greens, and every worker finds a way to cut short their work day in order to get out and enjoy the unexpectedly nice weather.

The cultural diversity within this city is truly remarkable. We have had the opportunity to meet many a people while out amongst the locals; yet, we have rarely come into contact with true Londoners. If you are under the impression that England is strictly a English speaking nation, you are mistaken. People from all over the United Kingdom, Europe, the eastern hemisphere, and the rest of the world are in constant flow amidst the streets. 

Prior to landing on English soil, I was warned that striking up conversations with Londoners, with meeting people, and with befriending the locals, luck would be out of my favour. However, the hard-hearted and sour-faced Brits I had come to fear encountering, I have yet to come across. I have heard second-hand and experienced first-hand that people are actually quite lonely here and hungry for personal interaction with people that actually care about them. Seeking for real people who are willing to form real relationships based on reality and honesty. "How you goin, mate?" is not, simply, an opportunity for you to put on a fake smile and say "Aright, cheers mate." and keep on walking along. The world really isn't so different when it boils down to needs, now is it? People really do care enough to ask; therefore, they would like for you to care enough to respond back in honesty.True intentions. We, as a people, have grown together in our understanding and being able to "sniff-out" the true intentions of a person or group. Londoners are no different. I have yet to meet someone who is not turned off by having their days interrupted by a complete stranger trying to "sell" them something. A magazine, a bracelet, pamphlets, tickets, religions, tracks...they are all met with the same response. "All you are trying to do is sell me something, why should I care? It's not as if you actually care about me or what is entailed within my life." And, its sadly true. No one I know, whether Christian or otherwise, likes to be stopped by someone who makes them listen to a two-minute seminar on why their entire life is wrong. That one needs to, right then, turn away from all that they have ever known as "habitual life" and follow this deity whom they have only seen carved into the sides of old cathedrals and, now, on this little piece of unattractive paper you just made them take. Sounds enticing, does it not?

Switching gears. The Brits camaraderie, patriotism, and devotion to both the Queen and to football would be considered on the verge of fanatical in America. However, this is not America. And, it is truly exceptional to witness. Furthermore, the "Pub scene." One does not go to a pub to have a quiet drink alone. That will never happen. One goes for the camaraderie, companionship, relationships (previously made and those yet to be made), and to watch a football match on the tele. 2nd person scenario: You are more than likely surrounded by complete strangers. The atmosphere is tense and electric. England has possession of the ball, darting around the opposing team they make a sweep for the keeper, the kick is up....header for a goal!!! The entire pub goes crazy with cheers and beer spilling everywhere! The bloke next to you ropes you in for an enthusiastic "man-hug" and buys you a pint or two since most of yours ended up on floor. Good thing you decided to root for the same team. Learning to live. Let the journey continue.

Today, I am thankful and amazed by where I am at this moment of my life. Earlier this afternoon, I was riding on the top deck of a red double-decker bus observing the scenery that was passing by. Through the whirl of unfamiliarity, streams of color, and bustling of foreign life, I became flooded with gratitude and awe. Who would have thought that a country-boy from the boonies of Montana would be venturing into his 5th overseas missions experience by the age of 25? Well, I did; but, that’s about it. Haha.

We have been blessed with so many contacts, already, since having set foot on English soil only 10 days ago. A small portion of the people we have encountered were from our pre-trip planning stages; however, a good portion of our European contacts have come  as a result of “random-happenstance” on the streets of London. For that, I am taken aback. 

We have been honored to interact with the Pastor(s) and “elders” of “London Family Centre” of Camden Town, London. Pastor Gospel’s heart for his community has brought him to a place where he is willing to think FAR outside of the traditional “Church-box” in order that a lasting impact can be made on his surrounding community. Now, when I say “outside of the traditional ‘Church-box’”, I mean FAR.....keep going.....you’re still thinking a mile or so too close to “the box”.....a little further.....there. You made it! Now, what does Christ’s love look like from this distance? Honestly, reflect on it. Put that in your “Bangers & Mash” and eat it.

We have also been honored to randomly meet many great people along the streets, in the cafes, in the parks, and in the pubs of London and it’s surrounding communities. What a breathtaking mixture of people, cultures, beliefs, lifestyles, mindsets, ethnicities, colors, intentions, habits, dreams, and hopes. Events are most certainly falling into place; by One whose hands are the only ones capable.
 
As many of you know, my team and I are only here because of your prayers and support. Honestly, there could have been no other way for us to be living and loving in this country if it was not for you. Please know, we are forever grateful and are constantly reminded on a daily basis of how much your faith in us and in this mission has made this opportunity possible. 

We are living on a very tight budget; which, is very good for all of us! However, even though all of us have been blessed with the ability to get here...we would love to be blessed with the opportunity to stay here for our whole intended duration of 6 months. With that, we still covet your prayers and support. We are being blessed with ideas, dreams, and visions as to how God wants to move in this booming metropolis and we realize that, in order to have that happen, we need your continued love and support. With your prayers, love, and support: Let the journey continue.

Well, it has been awhile since the last time I wrote. For those of you who know me, you know that my memory is not the greatest. Therefore, I will do my best to recount the activities of the last 3 days. Heh. 


Let’s see, highlight:

Taxis, airplanes, a ship, a rented car, busses, trains, the Tube, and walking...lots of walking....and, WE MADE IT! We are officially living here in West Finchley, London. THANK YOU ALL for your prayers, for your financial support, and for your willingness to  share in this mission experience with us! We definitely still need your prayers and support; however, we are excited to see what God is going to do while we are here and are expecting great things. 

Here are a few highlights from our travels to London:

Ryan Graham and myself drove from Tulsa to Dallas and attended the wedding of two of our teammates: Jonathan Collins and Vanessa Johnston. From there, Chuck Fowler, Ryan, and myself flew from Dallas to Houston to Miami. Stayed in Miami for the night and loaded onto the “Jewel of the Seas” ship the following day.

Our time on the ship was certainly surreal. It was definitely a mini multi-cultural hub for people from across the world. The origins, the accents, and the destinations of the people were very interesting and diverse. We met many great people, built relationships with people that are sure to last, had the opportunity to set foot on 3 separate cities we had never been to, and had our own perspectives of “outreach and missions” broadened due to the unfamiliarity of the whole situation. 

We were assigned the same Dinner Table (#449) every night with the same table-mates. I grew to absolutely love every single person at that table. It really is amazing how God continues to work even when we least expect him to. Our Table had, evidently, grown to have the reputation for the fun, spontaneous, and great people table. Haha. Through the stories of my table mates, many more people (that I myself have not even met), know of the friendly and contagiously hysterical gay couple with the large/green Alien man, the three thick accents of the New Yorkers and the three young men. The quiet one who seems to not talk at all. The one with the crazy bleach stain on his head that can be spotted from across the ship. And, the one with the rat braid that always has a camera in his hand. 

Overall, it was certainly a great learning experience.

Having finally pulled into port, we took the train to Liverpool where we met up with Jon and Nessa who lead us back to our "home" in West Finchley. Let the journeys continue.